Just found out my Godfather who I haven't seen for six or seven years died. Was told he was suffering from depression after losing his job at the race track and went back to the bottle. He drank himself to death over a couple of a days in his condo in Florida. A bottle of vodka a day was the prescription.
He was the picture of health before that, and for a man in his 60s he looked like he was in his 40s on a good day. He always had a kind word, and after 9/11 he saved up some money to make a trip to "the pit." He was so moved by the events of that day he felt like he needed to see it out of respect he told me.
We were never close, but we had a bond. I still remember him carrying me on his shoulders when I was a kid--doesn't get stronger than that. He left for Florida as many folks from Brooklyn do when they get a taste of the real sun. The grind, gray, and the cold of New York City can get to you once you've tasted the green and blue of Florida--or California for that matter. We were similar in that way I guess.
My mom told me he that Jimmy gave up after losing his job and the condo payments mounted. He tried to sell the Florida condo, but the real estate market down there went bad just as quick as it went good. You hear about the victims of the real estate bust in the Wall Street Journal all the time, but it's odd when it's someone you know. "Just move out and get a smaller place" is common refrain from the pundits on the cable news business channel. However, a man losing his home is left with a hole in their pride, and that hole can suck you in.
For Jimmy losing the place and the job started the spiral. He got back on the sauce, which he was off for decades, and he told his girlfriend "I'm too old to start over." He was in his 60s and had 20 great years left. The sadness and depression took the twenty.
RIP Jimmy, I'll see you at the track on the other side--we'll have a club soda.
All the lonely people.
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people.
Where do they all belong?
RIP Jimmy
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Reader Comments
(Page 1 of 1)2. Nice write-up, Jason. Jimmy would have loved it! He was always very proud of you. I am sure he has printed it out and is showing it off to everyone on the other side!
Love, Mom
Posted at 1:11PM on May 7th 2008 by catherine calacanis
3. It's a beautiful eulogy, Jason, and it shows you care, regardless of the bond strength or closeness (pr lack therefore) between uncle and nephew. Without a doubt, the loss is palpable. I know the feeling.
Keep in mind that nothing which is loved is ever lost; no one who has touched a life, who has brought beauty and goodness to the surrounding world is ever truly lost. Those we cherish, will always live in memory. And those who live in the hearts of others, never die.
The hardships of this world are cruel for too many ...
V.
Posted at 1:34PM on May 7th 2008 by Vianna
4. My sympathy and condolence goes to you Jason
and your familly.
Posted at 4:13PM on May 7th 2008 by Moulinneuf
5. I am so sorry for your loss. Jimmy's spirit is celebrated and reflected in this beautiful tribute; especially in how you remember the special moments you shared. ~Rose
Posted at 5:31PM on May 7th 2008 by Rosemarie Pena
8. My condolences Jason. Too much of the bottle usually doesn't have a good outcome. Losing a job leaving a hole in his life must have been devastating.
Posted at 9:58PM on May 7th 2008 by Victor Caballero
11. Jason -
I've been reading your blog and twitters for a few months now and enjoying your thoughts and successes. This post hit close to home for me and i wanted to share a few thoughts. This was a thoughtful eulogy and reminded me of the profound impact of that kind of time spent with kids.
While it would be nice if folks like Jimmy could pick up the phone and call, they probably have lost that ability long before they die. I watched my father in the throes of a depression too, and it reduced a strong, capable, confident and utterly competent man to a small puddle totally incapable of reflection, self awareness or any sort of reaching out. All he wanted to do was stop the pain, and, like Jimmy, he did.
One of my many learnings from the experience is that if I suspect someone is vulnerable to clinical depression, it is up to me to notice if they drop off the radar suddenly or exhibit other warning signs. If they are in their own black hole of depression, they won't be able to see out - it is up to me to see in.
Hope that helps. Keep Mahalo and your blog cranking.
parker thomas
Posted at 3:21AM on May 8th 2008 by Parker Thomas
12. Sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was a great man!
Posted at 4:43AM on May 19th 2008 by Arnstein
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1. I'm sorry for your loss, Jason. Hopefully he's in a happier place now. I have a feeling he is.
Posted at 12:40PM on May 7th 2008 by Andy DeSoto